


just out of reach

by saunatonttu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, M/M, Present Tense, domestic life, kuroo being ridiculous sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:16:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6408403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saunatonttu/pseuds/saunatonttu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not that he has to take care of Tsukishima simply out of obligation of being his boyfriend. </p><p>It's because he adores this bright presence in his life, and if there are downs along the road, then Tetsurou will make sure to help Tsukki get up and climb with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just out of reach

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the fucked-up French is on purpose. 
> 
> Also, Sam, I love you a lot; I am very attached to the semi-casual friendship we have.

“ _Parlez-vous francais?_ ”

Kei, unexpectedly, is not impressed with Tetsurou’s attempt at French. Not raising his eyes from the pages of a book he’s studying, Kei says at length, “You’re using the formal _you,_ dork.”

Tetsurou pouts. “I was trying to be sexy.”

“Tried, failed, 0/10 would approve,” Kei says, and his lips pull into a nearly invisible smile. Tetsurou catches it like he catches most of Kei’s unspoken affections. He’s gotten pretty good at it after realizing that nothing good comes out of trying to pry too much out of Tsukki at once.

“You’re smiling.” But that will not stop Tetsurou from teasing his adorable boyfriend. “ _Vous êtes--”_

“Stop butchering French,” Kei retorts, “don’t be a walking Google Translator, Tetsurou.”

“You like it.”

“I do not.” Kei’s eyes flit up to meet Tetsurou’s gaze, and there’s a dim gleam that suggests that he’s faintly amused by Tetsurou’s ridiculousness. It’s not quite as bright a glimmer as Tetsurou would like it to be, but he can’t ask for anything that Kei can’t dish out. It’s like asking Pepe to give you anything but the deadest eyes a badly drawn frog could possibly have. It’s just not possible, and it’s completely unreasonable.

“Yeah?” Tetsurou knocks his shoulder against Kei’s as he pulls his legs up to the couch. “I know other languages too--”

“You’re fluent in Japanese and English only,” Kei interrupts with a roll of his eyes, but he presses his shoulder against Tetsurou’s arm after a short stint of hesitancy. Tetsurou grins. Physical contact is okay today, it seems.

“I’m also fluent in love, if that helps,” Tetsurou quips, thinking that it’s the best one-liner one could say to their significant other.

Kei laughs. It’s a small, choked sound, because Kei’s still so so tired after starting up his new meds, but it makes Tetsurou so happy and warm that he can’t help but drape himself all over his adorable bean sprout of a boyfriend. In high school, they had been close in height, but a few years later the difference became noticeable. Damn you, teenage growth spurts.

“You are the _worst_ ,” Kei sputters and he sounds so wearily indignant that Tetsurou has to bury his mouth into the crook of Kei’s neck to keep himself silent, “ _the worst_ , how dare you make me laugh-”

The book falls from Kei’s lap when Tetsurou hugs him hard, arms snaking around the slim waist and fingers tickling at the skin they found beneath Kei’s loose tee.

“Because,” Tetsurou says, “ _baby, you’re a firework--_ ”

“You don’t even _like_ that song--”

“There are amazing covers out there, okay?”

“Be quiet.”

“Smother me with your mouth, Tsukki-”

Kei smothers Tetsurou with a cushion instead.

  


Kei hasn’t been on his new meds for longer than a week at most, but his weariness still worries Tetsurou a lot and so he looks through the description stuck on the medicine bottle every now and then. (Twice a day, as if to remind himself.)

Kei notices, but he doesn’t seem to have the energy to comment on Tetsurou’s behavior. So neither says anything about it, and they play normalcy even though there’s nothing resembling normal to be found. But talking does only so little for Kei, and Tetsurou doesn’t dare to push it.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” he murmurs to Kei in the mornings, even though he’s the one that would much rather sleep till noon. “I’m gonna go to university. Want me to get something when I get back?”

Kei mutters something into the pillow he had taken the moment Tetsurou’s head had left it. Tetsurou has to go fish his phone from where he had dropped it the previous night for the sake of taking a picture.

“What was that? Didn’t hear you.”

“---cake,” Kei lifts his head just enough for the last part to be audible, even though just barely. “Strawberry.”

“You got it, honey.”

“...n’t call me that.”

“Sweetie pie.”

“Jerk.”

“Moonshine.”

Kei always straightens a bit at that, spine quivering beneath the blankets just before Kei turns to give Tetsurou a sleepy almost-smile. Or at least Tetsurou wants to interpret it that way, because sleepy scowls are not as cute.

“Just go already,” Kei murmurs, head falling back onto one of the pillows. “Don’t let Bokuto-san win.”

“At what?” Tetsurou teases.

“At anything. His ego’s big enough.”

“True enough.” Tetsurou leans down to press a kiss on Kei’s tiny, button-cute nose. “I’ll report back on how that went once i get back, then. Wait for me, babe.”

Kei’s nose wrinkles up as his eyes slide down, a low hum from the depths of his throat being the only answer he gives.

“See you,” Tetsurou hums, kissing Kei’s cheek before leaning up and adding, “remember to take your meds, okay?”

“Yeah…”

“It’s a promise.”

“Just go already.”

“Ahaha, okay, okay, no need to get mad at me…”

  


Kei’s therapist makes him draw to vent his moods, or the lack of them. Tetsurou has seen a few of them when Kei has shown them, but he tries not to pry since it’s a delicately private part of Kei that even he might not have any right to pull out into his sight. It’s nowhere near the same as watching Kei playing Animal Crossing and going to visit Kenma’s village.

(Frankly, he still has no idea how those two got along so well.)

The few pieces Kei has shown him are closer to doodles, but Tetsurou likes them for their rough edges and the feeling he feels Kei has poured onto the paper. Perhaps he’s a little romanticist when it comes to art.

There’s one doodle that Tetsurou is especially fond of, and Kei especially embarrassed by, and Kei must have been feeling particularly loving when he had said Tetsurou could keep it. Kei had merely offered a “It’d be embarrassing to show the therapist” when Tetsurou cocked his eyebrows while trying to suppress an excited grin. It had come out as a weird sideways smirk, anyway, and Kei rolled his eyes at it.

The doodle is of Tetsurou’s face, and a great amount of care has been put into the shadows caressing Tetsurou’s cheeks and below his narrow, drooping eyes. Tetsurou doesn’t think it’s a particularly flattering picture, no, but there’s-- there’s something honest in the lines of the picture, almost like love, pretty close to bitter adoration.

Tetsurou loves it, and as much as he would love to tease, he doesn’t.

He can’t make fun of Kei’s feelings; not when they’re both such silly saps.

  


The picture is folded inside Tetsurou’s wallet, beneath the credit and library cards. He pulls it out on occasion. ( _“Every day,”_ Akaashi would deadpan, _“because you’re hopeless-in-love-Kuroo.”_ Bokuto would agree, being whipped by the love he has for Akaashi.)

If he’s hopelessly in love, it’s not like he can help it, though.

It’s not like he _expected_ it from the first moment he met Tsukki - but then again, there are many things he hadn’t expected when it came to the blond moon-princess-in-disguise.

One of those things, in the end, is just how good it feels to love someone like Tetsurou loves Kei.

Ah, there he goes again, being cheesy in his own head. Tetsurou smiles to himself as he picks up the cake, flashes a grin at the person behind the counter, and leaves as he puts the wallet back into the back pocket of his jeans.

The picture is now at the front fold of the wallet, and it will be the first thing Tetsurou will see when he opens the wallet the next time.

  


When he comes home, he’s tired from his classes _and_ the volleyball practice, but he’s smiling hard enough for his face to hurt because he has had a good day and he’s about to find out if Kei’s had one too.

He hopes it’s at least better than most days Kei has had recently.

“Tsukkiiii~,” he calls from the door, cheerful and a little too loud, “I brought the cake!”

“I’m in the kitchen,” Kei’s softer voice replies, monotonous with a hint of something Tetsurou decides to leave uninterpreted for the time being. “It is strawberry this time, right, Kuroo-s-- er, Tetsurou?”

“Still not used to it?” Tetsurou hums as he skips to their shared kitchen after kicking off his shoes and taking off his jacket as well as dropping his sports bag. “You don’t need to force yourself, Tsukki.”

Kei is actually washing dishes from the previous night, still in his pajama pants and shirt. The sun from the window hits his back, shows off the curves the hem of the shirt doesn’t hide. Tetsurou stares, unashamed but definitely flushing when Kei’s head turns towards him.

“I’m not forcing myself,” Kei says, lips twitching as his eyes land on the box in Tetsurou’s hands. “It _is_ strawberry this time, right?”

“I never make the same mistake twice, love.” Tetsurou winces. Shit, he’s too used to endearing nicknames. Kei might not-

Kei rolls his eyes. The movement that reaches his eyebrows is oddly adorable, and Tetsurou wants to kiss him. So he does. On the lips. On the forehead.

“Tetsurou-”

“Let’s have that cake now that you’re up, hmm?”

“I can’t say no to that,” Kei agrees, and he smiles a little like he’s exhausted but amused by Tetsurou’s ever so obvious care for him. “I taped some of that silly drama you’ve been wanting to watch, too.”

“Oh?” Tetsurou’s grin widens as he sets the cake box down on the table. “You wanna watch it together? I know you’re a secret romantic, too.”

“I am _not_ -” Kei cuts himself off, frowning as he looks at the cake box contemplatively. “...Kei?”

“I just do it for the cake,” Kei decides, huffing a little and puffing his cheeks when Tetsurou cracks up and laughs. Adjusting his glasses, most likely (Tetsurou can’t tell since he’s curled up in laughter), Kei adds, “I’m not kidding!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tetsurou says, drying the tears that sting his eyes, “of course. You’re just a little infatuated with my charms, that’s all.”

“It’s the cake.”

“Sure thing, moonshine,” Tetsurou says indulgently as he gathers himself but fails to prepared himself for the kiss Kei gives to his cheeks once he straightens himself. (Ha. As if he’s ever been _straight._ Haha.)

“Thanks,” Kei mutters to the skin of Tetsurou’s cheek before grabbing the cake box to himself and opens it, his focus already in the box rather than Tetsurou, whose face is about as bright as a firetruck.

So much for the cool, collected Kuroo Tetsurou, huh? Not that this is the first time this has happened.

Even when Kei is suffering on the inside, he still manages to make Tetsurou incredibly happy.

Tetsurou can only hope he manages to do the same, even if only a little bit and even if he will never be able to drive away the shadows that plague Kei’s mind.

But, someday, it will be enough - this day-to-day life will someday be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> The thing about Kenma and Tsukki playing AC together comes from a spectacular piece of art that belongs to kandismon (on tumblr and twitter), by the way.


End file.
